I was sitting with my grandmother this morning having coffee. She lives with me and is in hospice and I try to sit and read to her a couple of times a week. Some days I read to her out of my journal, some days I will read to her out of a book that I am reading and some days I read the bible to her. Today, I opened the bible and it opened to Joel 2 and my eyes fell on Joel 2:19, so I began there and read this section of scripture to her. As I came to my prayer room for my quiet time and reading, I opened my emails and began to read and there it was again in an email I was reading. I pray that it brings renewed hope to many as it did to me this morning.
Joel 19-32 NLT
19 The Lord will reply,
“Look! I am sending you grain and new wine and olive oil,
enough to satisfy your needs.
You will no longer be an object of mockery
among the surrounding nations.
20 I will drive away these armies from the north.
I will send them into the parched wastelands.
Those in the front will be driven into the Dead Sea,
and those at the rear into the Mediterranean.
The stench of their rotting bodies will rise over the land.”
Surely the Lord has done great things!
21 Don’t be afraid, O land.
Be glad now and rejoice,
for the Lord has done great things.
22 Don’t be afraid, you animals of the field,
for the wilderness pastures will soon be green.
The trees will again be filled with fruit;
fig trees and grapevines will be loaded down once more.
23 Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem!
Rejoice in the Lord your God!
For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness.
Once more the autumn rains will come,
as well as the rains of spring.
24 The threshing floors will again be piled high with grain,
and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil.
25 The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.
It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.
26 Once again you will have all the food you want,
and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
27 Then you will know that I am among my people Israel,
that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
The Lord’s Promise of His Spirit
28 “Then, after doing all those things,
I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will dream dreams,
and your young men will see visions.
29 In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on servants—men and women alike.
30 And I will cause wonders in the heavens and on the earth—
blood and fire and columns of smoke.
31 The sun will become dark,
and the moon will turn blood red
before that great and terrible day of the Lord arrives.
32 But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord
will be saved, for some on Mount Zion in Jerusalem will escape,
just as the Lord has said.
These will be among the survivors
whom the Lord has called.
BEGUILED. charm or enchant (someone), sometimes in a deceptive way
That was it! My best friend had said it and I knew it was the word I had been looking for. She had been reading a book and the word jumped out at her so she called me to tell me that she just couldn’t shake it. I knew that this was what had been happening to Christian. It is hard for me to explain, but I would feel like a snake charmer was playing a flute and each time I would start to get through to her, the music would start again and she would be gone, so when my friend said that this was a word for Christian, I knew she was spot on.
Christian had been back in Ohio for a few months. She was going to one of the local churches and had joined a young adult group that met in Columbus, but each time that I would mention her stepping into the call on her life or stepping back into active ministry she would shut me down immediately. She said she did not have any spiritual covering here in Ohio so was not comfortable being in ministry of any kind. At this point, I began to realize just how far she had cut herself off from the people in her life who had always been her spiritual accountability and my concern for her grew.
“He is such a nice guy mom, I think I am going to go out with him.”
“Christian, don’t do this. I can’t tell you strongly enough how worried I am about this. This is a huge mistake. If you do this, it will bring you nothing but heartache.”
She didn’t listen and one decision…one compromise, two, three. Where does it end? I hurt for her. For the first few months, I could get through every once in a while. I would get a glimpse of her, but then the world that she had come to choose over truth would beckon and she was gone again, hidden behind the hard mask. She has had moments where she has been honest and we have had real conversations about her choices. It is interesting how deception works, because the one being deceived is so deceived that they believe that everyone is deceived. In our most recent conversation, when I reminded her of one of our conversations and what she had believed to be true about a decision she was now making, she seemed to get frustrated and then stated that she had just changed her mind and didn’t believe that any longer.
She has stopped going to church. She has stopped going to the young adult group. She has stopped talking to any of the people in her life that know the real Christian. She has stopped spending time alone with me if at all possible. Some days it feels like she is trying to punish me and hurt me intentionally for the reminder of who I know she is. I don’t know if she is doing it intentionally, I pray that she hasn’t come to that, but her actions are certainly directed to keep me at bay. I know who my enemy is and it is not my daughter, so I choose each day when I am broken to forgive and love her in spite of the pain.
I continue to remind her at every opportunity that I love her unconditionally and I am here whenever she wants to talk and that I will listen to whatever she is feeling. I don’t have to agree with her to listen to her and that I don’t have to agree with her to love her. I continue to remind her that true love and true relationships are about loving each other through the tough times whether we agree or not.
I mentioned in one my earlier posts that some of her prophetic songs and writings have surprised me how they have turned out to be a direct call to her at this time in her life. She sang this back in November 2014 and I asked her to listen to it about 6 months ago. I continue to believe that His word is alive and working today!
“My child, I’m in pursuit of you since I created you.
I’m the lover of your heart, the lover of your soul and I won’t let you go.
I’m Running after you
I’m Running after you
I’m Running after you
I’m Running after you, My child
I’m in a race with the world and the prize is you.
I’m in a race with the world and the prize is beautiful.
You are mine. I am yours and I won’t relent. I won’t give up. I won’t back down. I won’t slow down. I am determined. I am relentless, to win your heart!
I’m Running after you
I’m Running after you
I’m Running after you, My child
You’re all that I want. You’re all that I want. You’re all that I want.
And here, right now in My presence you are safe. And here right now in My presence you can rest and just know this is just a trial.
This is just a trial. This is just a trial and it will be your triumph.
This is just a trial
This is just a trial
This just a trial, but it will be your triumph
Trust Me now and know that I will make a way.
Trust Me now and know that I will make a way.
Trust Me now and know that I will make a way.
Trust Me now and know that I will make a way.
I’ve always been here and I always will be.
I’ve always been here and I always will be.
Even now as you’re unaware of it I have marked you
Even now as you’re unaware of it I have marked you
Even now as you’re unaware of it I have marked you
You are Mine. No one can touch you. You are safe here with Me.
You are safe here with Me. You are safe here with Me. You are safe here with Me. You are safe here with Me. You are safe here with Me.
There’s a tug of war between Me and the world.
There’s a tug of war between Me and the world.
Just let go so I can pull you close.
The world cannot have you.
There’s a tug of war between Me and the world.
Just let go so I can pull you close.
There’s a tug of war between Me and the world.
Just let go so I can pull you close.
So I can pull you close.
You are Mine and I am yours!
You are Mine and I am yours and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you.
I’m fighting for you
I see you
I see you
I’m fighting for you
I’m fighting for you
I’m fighting for you, My child
This is just a trial
This is just a trial
This is just trial, but it will be your triumph!”
She was inspired by the Holy Spirit at an open mic night to pour this out to a group.
